> Enjoy a bottle of Black Briar

CaptainDriad > Drink a tad of brier
Unseen Umpire >Take the Blcck Bricr
TecnoToad > use the sword as a wine opener (if thats wine in the first place) ya know what, just use it to take off the cap
Morphimus > Guzzle the Black Brier as a waterstarved explorer home from the Sahara would. Then pick up the sword, auditory hallucinations are always trustworthy.
Well, here goes. Maybe it won't poison you, and hopefully you won't get too drunk if it's alcohol. You don't wanna die, so you'll just try to drink a little bit. You never used a wine opener before, and you never drunk alcohol, or evened opened any bottle of one. You try to use the sword to cut off the top, but you accidentally cut your hands.

"Uh.. you're not trying to use me as a bottle opener are you? You're absolutely clueless."

Then it takes you a few minutes extra to pluck it out with your fingers. It looks like you just wasted time by using the sword. You try to drink only a little bit, but you thirst forces you to drink more. The warm liquid enters your mouth with a honey-ish flavor, but a strange tang to it, and a very slight sting at the tip of the tongue.

From the smell of it, it's obviously some kind of alcohol. It feels amazing and very refreshing. It goes down your throat making your chest feel warm, and then your face starts getting warm too, very warm.

Your face is flush and you feel sort of sick in the stomach and sorta wobbly on your feet too, but you feel good.

Xindaris >Remember when you used to watch people play video games on youtube, realize you are inside one.
Fish > put the sword in the furthest corner

"Huh, that's crazy. This can't be in a video game... Everything feels so real. Besides, I don't even know where I am right now. I'm just in some room, I cold be anywhere."

Why would you put it in a corner? You're not sure if it's actually talking to you or not, but you think you could use it for something late on.

nonexistentPumpkin >Just pick up the sword already

You hold the sword and you feel it's power coursing through your veins. The sword begins to speak. (you hope you're not losing your mind again)

"Now Girl, listen to me now. Let me embrace you, become a part of you, and together we shall be powerful. I'm trapped right now. Without a wielder, I'm blind, and I'm only half conscious. I can help you while you help me, and together we shall have symbiosis. You NEED me, and I NEED you."

You decide to ignore the words you just heard; for now. Since when did swords ever talk?

TobiasMoon > Dress yourself with the clothes that have been laid out for you, and wield that sword like a true warrior!!!
You decide you'll just put on the clothes first before you pick up that weird sword again.

Wow! While you were changing you just noticed that you actually have breasts now. You're beginning to wonder if you're in a different body now. Since you have breasts now, you guess all the guys will love you and you should be able to get anything you want now.

With these thick fur and leather clothes on, you feel hot and muggy; Especially with your face being flush like how it is right now.

Next you figure you shouldn't just wield it like a warrior, but you figure you should give it a few swings too.

"Ahh, now that's what I like to feel. It's been a long time I've been swung. Even though you're holding me, and swinging me completely wrong, it's better than nothing.
Now, try to cut something in half with me, and then I'll teach you how to swing me."

Whew, swinging this long, heavy sword sure is making you feel sweaty. You're getting pretty hot right now. And the weird thing about it is that it feels like the air around you is even hotter than you are. You keep swinging until the heat starts to get unbearable. Then you realize something...